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Every time I see a post about hymens and virginity, I need to say this and reiterate it and just make everyone understand:
your first time is not supposed to hurt
your first time is not supposed to hurt
your first time is not supposed to hurt
IT IS NOT A REQUIREMENT TO BLEED FOR YOUR FIRST TIME
REASONS YOU MIGHT BLEED FOR YOUR FIRST TIME:
Not enough lubrication.
Not enough preparation.
Not enough foreplay.
Your partner is a giant dicksplash.
TIPS AND HINTS FOR YOUR FIRST TIME THAT I WISH I HAD:
LUBE IS YOUR VERY BEST FRIEND! Yes the vagina secretes a fluid that can act as a natural lubricant but that is not enough for vaginal sex. And for some women (like myself), they do not secrete nearly enough for even penetration, let alone sex. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH LUBE.
FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY!!! You want to be good and turned on, like super turned on, coz the more you’re aroused, the more pliant and warm your vagina is going to be, and it’s more likely to allow a dick in without tearing. Like even when you’re giving birth, doctors nowadays will actually massage the outer rim of your vagina so that everything loosens up and allows A FUCKING BABY TO BE BORN WITHOUT TEARING YOU.
PREPARATION (WHICH IS SOMEWHAT RELATED TO FOREPLAY)!!!! If you have never had anything in your vagina before, you’re probs gonna need a couple fingers in there to help you loosen up. This can easily be tied into foreplay.
A GENTLE, UNDERSTANDING LOVER WHO KNOWS AND RESPECTS THE ABOVE HINTS!!!! You don’t have to be in love with the person you first have sex with, but it should be someone who respects you and your boundaries!!! Before having sex with someone, explain to them these things and your masturbatory experience, your wants and needs. If they don’t respect that THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR VAGINA.
Basically it comes down to this: if your partner says “it’s normal to bleed the first time,” sit him (or her) down and talk to them about what actually happens and how it’s supposed to go. If they respect that, cool. If they don’t, fuck ‘em. Actually no, don’t fuck them, dump their ass and find someone who doesn’t subscribe to the belief that anything as lovely and intimate as your first time having sex has to hurt.
This is a basic patriarchal myth to both scare women from having sex, as well as contribute to the laziness of men in terms of making sex enjoyable for their female partners.
Sex never has to hurt. And don’t you dare let anyone tell you that it fucking has to.
If you have health problems that legitimately make vaginal intercourse hurt, there are a billion other things you can do with your partner, and you should communicate your health issues to every single partner. Again, if they respect that, rock on. If they don’t, tell them ‘adios’ and leave the bedroom.
even more information about the hymen

Every time I see a post about hymens and virginity, I need to say this and reiterate it and just make everyone understand:

your first time is not supposed to hurt

your first time is not supposed to hurt

your first time is not supposed to hurt

IT IS NOT A REQUIREMENT TO BLEED FOR YOUR FIRST TIME

REASONS YOU MIGHT BLEED FOR YOUR FIRST TIME:

  • Not enough lubrication.
  • Not enough preparation.
  • Not enough foreplay.
  • Your partner is a giant dicksplash.

TIPS AND HINTS FOR YOUR FIRST TIME THAT I WISH I HAD:

  • LUBE IS YOUR VERY BEST FRIEND! Yes the vagina secretes a fluid that can act as a natural lubricant but that is not enough for vaginal sex. And for some women (like myself), they do not secrete nearly enough for even penetration, let alone sex. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH LUBE.
  • FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY!!! You want to be good and turned on, like super turned on, coz the more you’re aroused, the more pliant and warm your vagina is going to be, and it’s more likely to allow a dick in without tearing. Like even when you’re giving birth, doctors nowadays will actually massage the outer rim of your vagina so that everything loosens up and allows A FUCKING BABY TO BE BORN WITHOUT TEARING YOU.
  • PREPARATION (WHICH IS SOMEWHAT RELATED TO FOREPLAY)!!!! If you have never had anything in your vagina before, you’re probs gonna need a couple fingers in there to help you loosen up. This can easily be tied into foreplay.
  • A GENTLE, UNDERSTANDING LOVER WHO KNOWS AND RESPECTS THE ABOVE HINTS!!!! You don’t have to be in love with the person you first have sex with, but it should be someone who respects you and your boundaries!!! Before having sex with someone, explain to them these things and your masturbatory experience, your wants and needs. If they don’t respect that THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR VAGINA.

Basically it comes down to this: if your partner says “it’s normal to bleed the first time,” sit him (or her) down and talk to them about what actually happens and how it’s supposed to go. If they respect that, cool. If they don’t, fuck ‘em. Actually no, don’t fuck them, dump their ass and find someone who doesn’t subscribe to the belief that anything as lovely and intimate as your first time having sex has to hurt.

This is a basic patriarchal myth to both scare women from having sex, as well as contribute to the laziness of men in terms of making sex enjoyable for their female partners.

Sex never has to hurt. And don’t you dare let anyone tell you that it fucking has to.

If you have health problems that legitimately make vaginal intercourse hurt, there are a billion other things you can do with your partner, and you should communicate your health issues to every single partner. Again, if they respect that, rock on. If they don’t, tell them ‘adios’ and leave the bedroom.

even more information about the hymen

(via hrhelizabethiii)

According to a study from the University of Washington, the rift between healthy grub and junk food is wider than it’s ever been. Researchers were able to buy 2,000 calories of junk food for $3.52 — that’s an entire day’s caloric intake — where nutritious foods cost them a whopping $36 for the same 2,000 calories.

10 Things You Didn’t Know About Food In The USA (via trashysnacks)

So, you know, STFU forever about “it’s cheaper to eat healthy LOL poor people don’t get how money works!”

(via thebicker)

(via violeteyelids)

New GoldieBlox video! (Link has context and elaboration on the facts and whatnot. Full transparency: I totally wrote it. sunglasses.emoji)

As TIME says:

Reasons this ad is amazing:

1) It’s an old-school allegory for style over substance: an innocent young egg gets all dolled up for what she thinks will be a straightforward path to happiness, but then the path ENDS (because beauty fades!) and she gets caught up in a whirlwind of awesomeness and ends up learning she’s more than just a shell, all in under 90 seconds. Tightest screenplay ever.

2) It explicitly connects princessy beauty obsession with girls’ waning interest in STEM, and links that to lower wages as adults (since female engineers make 33% less than women in other fields.)

3) The egg turns the whole “girls are fragile” thing on its head. Plus, it’s Easter-themed!

pixiefcked replied to your post “If there is nothing wrong with Trans-women operating in Feminism, what about Trans-men? Does Feminism view trans-men as being as male similar to how views Trans-women as being female?”

Trans men actually only experience misdirected misogyny. The insistence that they need a voice in feminism is both misogynistic and transphobic. Trans men are just as much men as cis men are, and they still benefit from the patriarchy.

Of course trans men are just as much men as cis men are. And many trans men do benefit from patriarchy. That doesn’t invalidate their experiences under patriarchy when they were treated like women, which many trans men have experienced.

None of this changes the fact that trans male experiences are valuable in intersectional feminism.

If there is nothing wrong with Trans-women operating in Feminism, what about Trans-men? Does Feminism view trans-men as being as male similar to how views Trans-women as being female?

Asked by
Anonymous

Okay, first of all: trans women, trans men. It’s a descriptor, not a proper noun.

Trans men are more than welcome to be feminists, imo. Lord knows they experience oppression. Trans men also often experience male privilege (there’s a whole lot that trans men have talked about wrt “passing” and how complicated that can be; you can read some good stuff here.)* But they deserve a spot at the table, absolutely. Many trans men have experienced sexism and misogyny from both sides of the coin — having it enacted upon them and being encouraged to enact it. That’s a valuable perspective.

Any discussion of gender parity is incomplete without including the voices of people other than white cis men and women. Frankly, I think cis (white, straight) men should be able to have a seat at the table, too. But they need to earn it through rigorous assessment of their own privilege, and, you know, the ability to listen.

*I would actually love other resources from, you know, actual trans people on this issue to add to my bookmarks — let me know if you’ve come across some!

khaleesi:

Hey everybody! I don’t usually make posts like this BUT my roommate, Whitney, just found out that her dog Chico needs to have a kidney removed and may have cancer. Chico is not just a regular pet - he’s a registered emotional support dog, and Whitney relies on him to help her manage her anxiety and depression in most settings. She takes him everywhere, and his importance in her life is hard to put into words. I dunno, I feel like Tumblr in particular will Get This.

She’s spent about $1,000 on his healthcare associated with this trouble already, and needs a little help with his upcoming surgery, so she’s set up a GoFundMe campaign. She’s a fabulous artist and is offering postcards and custom art as incentives! If you could donate even a dollar, it would be much appreciated - and even if you can’t, give this sucker a signal boost? THANKS WE LOVE YOU AND CHICO DOES TOO

Heya! Just saw your reblog of My Mad Fat Diary and was wondering if you would recommend that show. From the gifs I've seen around Tumblr it looks like a show that promotes body positivity, but I'd like to know if it's actually good or not before venturing further.

Asked by
peeintothewind

I would absolutely, 100% recommend this show, but be warned that it can be very triggering.