June 2013
32 posts
If you take MRAs seriously, I can’t take you seriously.
wait, it just occurred to me––
why, in the MRA mindset, is it all right to reduce all feminists (or, um, women) to one big giant mean group, but it is THE WORST THING when women don’t see each individual man as the complicated sum of his life process?
for some reason this particular hypocrisy is really striking to me
ETA: NEVER VISIT THE MISANDRY TAG OH LORD
Because, as a whole, feminists and MRAs are too egotistic to see they are, apparently, fighting for the same thing.
I am very dubious about the fact that MRAs and feminists are fighting for the same thing. That does not seem like the case to me.
Ostensibly, this is true. If MRAs were truly interested in gender equality, feminists and MRAs would be natural allies. But… MRAs aren’t interested in gender equality.
Instead MRAs overwhelmingly tend to be misogynists, and blind to fact that all of the toxic tropes of masculinity that exist in our culture are founded in sexism against women. Men have trouble keeping custody of their kids? Women are expected to be mothers — and nothing more than mothers. Male rape and molestation is wildly underreported? Men are supposed to be gagging for sex all the time (men are the aggressors in our social structures of romance and dating, and women are the resistors) and admitting this isn’t the case, or that they weren’t “strong enough” to fight off their attacker, is feminizing and a source of shame. Men are expected to be emotionless and stoic, and aren’t allowed to have tender or loving or sensitive nonromantic relationships with each other or other women? Or their children? Women are supposed to be emotional and irrational; showing that you, as a man, are emotional and irrational is, again, feminizing and a source of shame.
MRAs refuse to acknowledge this dichotomy. Most of the ones I’ve had the misfortune of dealing with insist that women are just as responsible for rape (it’s assumed that 99% of rapists are male, regardless of the gender of their victims); that the pay gap is a myth despite overwhelming evidence that it isn’t; have no understanding of feminism and assume that all feminists hate men and want to establish a matriarchy, or that a matriarchy currently exists; and generally hide behind their overwhelming fear of women with completely fucking delusional beliefs about what equality entails.
It’s been said before, and I’ll say it again: men are afraid women will reject them. Women are afraid men will kill them. Misandry annoys. Misogyny kills.
In terms of feminist porn, I don't know if this counts because it's (mostly) queer, but I love the Crash Pad series. It has people of pretty much every possible gender configuration and body type, it's very tastefully produced, and has won several awards.
Queer porn is definitely feminist porn! My feminism will be intersectional or it will be bullshit, and this includes erotica, tbh.
“
I want to stress this again: In many, many parts of the country right now, if you want to go to see a movie in the theater and see a current movie about a woman — any story about any woman that isn’t a documentary or a cartoon — you can’t. You cannot. There are not any. You cannot take yourself to one, take your friend to one, take your daughter to one.
There are not any.
By far your best shot, numbers-wise, at finding one that’s at least even-handedly featuring a man and a woman is Before Midnight (on 891 screens) so I hope you like it. Because it’s pretty much that or a solid, impenetrable wall of movies about dudes.
Dudes in capes, dudes in cars, dudes in space, dudes drinking, dudes smoking, dudes doing magic tricks, dudes being funny, dudes being dramatic, dudes flying through the air, dudes blowing up, dudes getting killed, dudes saving and kissing women and children, and dudes glowering at each other.
Somebody asked me this morning what “the women” are going to do about this. I don’t know. I honestly am at the point where I have no idea what to do about it. Stop going to the movies? Boycott everything?
They put up Bridesmaids, we went. They put up Pitch Perfect, we went. They put up The Devil Wears Prada, which was in two-thousand-meryl-streeping-oh-six, and we went (and by “we,” I do not just mean women; I mean we, the humans), and all of it has led right here, right to this place. Right to the land of zippedy-doo-dah. You can apparently make an endless collection of high-priced action flops and everybody says “win some, lose some” and nobody decides that They Are Poison, but it feels like every “surprise success” about women is an anomaly and every failure is an abject lesson about how we really ought to just leave it all to The Rock.
” —At The Movies, The Women Are Gone : Monkey See : NPR
The whole article is fantastic, as is pretty much everything Linda Holmes writes.
(via kdhart)
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY WONDER WOMAN MOVIE (STARRING GINA TORRES)
There's a site called: "make love not porn" where real couples submit videos showing that sex irl is usually worlds away from porn. It also explains a lot of myths that seem to be perpetuated by the porn industry. Like some if it is still kinky but it's not filled with those poor, sad, fake O faces I usually have to look at in mainstream porn. It's a refreshing change of pace.
Thanks for the tip!
(Pun… sort of unintended).
omg i'm so disgusted in myself I looked at porn today online i'm so embarrassed. I mean it's not like i'm a kid, i'm in college but still I feel so awkward. but even with that I couldn't masturbate well what's wrong with me
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU
Don’t imagine me yelling that, just imagine me being very emphatic about there being nothing wrong with you.
I have a lot of complicated feelings about porn (more on that in a vlog, most likely, because a lot of people have asked!) but basically:
- Interest in human sexuality is totally, totally normal.
- Wanting to be aroused is totally, totally normal.
- The opposite of these two statements (for people who have no interest in sex) is also totally normal.
- Porn might’ve made you feel embarrassed or dirty because porn is often not particularly respectful of real pleasure, real bodies, or any kind of reality at all. You might’ve felt embarrassed or dirty because many people are given unending messages from family, religious beliefs, or just society bein’ society that sexuality is dirty and shameful. This is not true, but I understand it can be really hard to unpack. If you think you need help, What You Really Really Want by Jaclyn Friedman is an amazing, positive resource.
- This is not to say that porn is bad, just that I, too, have sometimes looked at porn and been left feeling less than happy about it.
- Try feminist porn. You’ll see real bodies, real pleasure, and real people genuinely enjoying what they’re doing. It can make a huge difference.
Followers, any feminist porn recommendations?
I saw a commercial for a product called Lipozene. In the commercial they say "Body fat is unattractive". Can you please share your thoughts about this?
Lipozene is a bullshit drug that is trying to capitalize on fear of being unattractive. Of course they’re going to be dicks in their advertising — they want people feeling terribly about themselves so they can sell their shitty fake product and make money off of insecurity.
BODY FAT IS NOT UNATTRACTIVE. Being uncreative enough that the only way you can figure out a way to make a living is to make other people feel horrible is unattractive.
why isn’t there a STRAIGHT pride parade?? why isn’t there WHITE history month? why isn’t there an international MEN’S day!? why isn’t there a hospital for WELL people?? why isn’t there a soup kitchen for RICH people??!?
bisexual guys are assumed to be secretly gay
bisexual girls are assumed to be secretly straight
both are assumed to secretly like men
see what i’m getting at?
#men in society: forever believing that the world revolves around their dicks #talk about egocentricism
Don’t forget that gay men are gay because they lacked a “strong male figure”. And lesbians either haven’t found the right man or are gay because of a guy.
you guys
I’m at 6969 facebook likes
heh heh heh
I CANNOT FIND THIS BLOG, HELP
So a while ago I read this blog post (possibly an article) about women denying things like cake and how cake is a celebration and you don’t eat cake every day, and it ended on a note of “eat the damn cake.” And I cannot for the life of me find it anywhere. Help?
So I just saw that my college offers a class called "Obesity Prevention Strategies" *sigh* Why not offer a class called "Body Shaming Techniques" instead. Ugh.
Sounds like your college needs a mandatory “Asshole Prevention Strategies” class tbh
