- Weight and health are not the same thing. You cannot tell a person’s health by looking at them.
- Someone else’s health is none of your business, anyway. No really, it’s not. Unless that person is very close to you, you have no right commenting on their body or habits.
- Even if you believe someone to be unhealthy, why would you treat that person with anything other than empathy? Concern trolls need not apply. See #2.
Fair, but your healthy weight and someone else’s might be entirely different things.
Weight =/= health. You can’t tell how healthy someone is just by looking at them in 90% of cases.
- PoC: hey people are harrassing me
- Tumblr: it's free speech
- PoC: But they are threatening me
- Tumblr: still free speech
- QP: hey she's posting our addresses
- Tumblr: free speech
- QP: how? she's taking my personal information and--
- Tumblr: FREE. FUCKING. SPEECH
- WP: Hey they are being mean to me
- Tumblr: OH MY PRECIOUS LILLY WHITE CHILD!!!!!!! I WILL GET THOSE NASTY PEOPLE WITH MY BAN HAMMER OF JUSTICE!!!
Excellent observation. I want it on my blog.
YES. WE DEFINITELY SHOULD.
I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this message, anon. A+ and four for you.
You’re totally right. The FA movement has been appallingly narrow, and a large part of it has been focused on aesthetics. There’s a reason for the latter part of that, I think, because the majority of us have never felt beautiful and up-ending the social constructions of beauty and claiming them for our own has been important and a big driving force of the movement, especially considering how women’s looks are valued in Western society. But! We are doing this at the expense of WOC and we are doing this at the expense of women who fall outside of the “inbetweenie” line. So I see the value, but I also see huge problems with it.
I like to have conversations in the workshops I leave about what makes people love other people - not what attracts them or what they find sexy, but qualities that make them care very deeply about other people. Usually looks are not prioritized on that list; intelligence, sense of humor, compassion, etc. definitely are.
I think we need to break away from building from the foundation of aesthetics, too. Not that there isn’t room for feeling beautiful (there’s always room for feeling beautiful), but I think that ALL people should learn to value themselves based on their accomplishments and their goodness, and the parts of themselves that make them uniquely them — or, as you very succinctly put it, some non-beauty themed talks of self-appreciation!
My cholesterol is fantastic, my insulin is normal (which is an incredible feat for me because I have polycystic ovarian syndrome), my heart rate and blood pressure are “beautiful” in the words of my doctor, and I take three boot camp rec center classes per week and eat very well for a college student.
I’m fucking gorgeous (and funny, as evidenced by my facial expression, clearly). The only ugly person in this exchange is you.
relevant on all fucking counts.
- is sexist
- is heteronormative
- commodifies sex
- commodifies young cis-het white women
- contributes to rape culture
- contributes to slut-shaming
- erases queer folk
- erases transfolk
- frames a woman’s worth as inversely proportional to the number of dicks that have been inside her
I’m not ignoring you, I’m just finding sources to answer your question! Which I really appreciate, by the way :)
Yup. Very succinct.
I find posts like this irritating. As someone who is overweight and who grew up overweight, I never let it bring me down. I didn’t ask people out as a child or a teenager because /I/ wasn’t attracted to them. I didn’t and don’t care about fat jokes on TV. I was taught that how you see yourself is how other will see you. And I saw myself as a good person, a human being with faults and morals just like everyone else. That was and is how I conduct myself: As acting like the person /I/ see myself as. If people don’t want to appreciate that, I don’t want anything to do with them. And that’s how I’ve always been.
People are far too obsessed with what others’ opinions are. Who gives two shits? Opinions are like asswholes. Everyone’s got ‘em. Put on your rubber boots and get ready to wade through some nasty shit. Don’t let other people pass judgement on you.
What a coincidence! I find people like you irritating.
Please understand that your lived experience speaks for no one else’s and that you are contributing to shame culture by essentially telling people who are the victims of systematic and rewarded bullying to suck it up. That is deplorable, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
So wallowing in self-hate caused by a broken and shallow society is fine then? Because that’s all posts like the one I commented on are doing. They’re crying out for sympathy for something that’s under their control (I’m assuming that the people who commented on the post don’t have some sort of disorder since none of them outright said that they do indeed have something wrong with their bodies that keeps or kept them from loosing weight). Also, I’d like to note that the entire point of the post was decrying societal ideals by drawing on an example of /that person’s/ lived experience.
Now, I’m taking a fairly calloused stance on the subject but no where did I say “suck it up” I said people shouldn’t let it bother them. They are two different stand points. One’s telling people to look past the ridiculousness of letting shallow minded people bother you and the other is the one that actually promotes bullying.
It doesn’t appear you read my original post.
At what point, ever, do I suggest wallowing in self-hate as a course of action? I want everyone to love themselves. I fucking LOVE myself. But loving myself and occasionally feeling pressured, put down, and depressed by the “broken and shallow” social norms regarding fat bodies are not mutually exclusive. They’re not mutually exclusive for anyone, and it’s important to know that “little voice,” as I call it, isn’t a unique experience.
Of all the 2,000+ reblogs on this, only you and a handful of other people had anything negative to say. You’re one of the only ones whose negativity wasn’t a variation on “lol fat people are gross,” but what you’re saying is, I think, worse in some ways, because you’re invalidating a shared experience that has been important enough to the people who’ve engaged with my original post that floods of them have come to me, thanking me for making them feel less alone. Only through sharing our experiences and building a positive community of support — note that word, please, positive — can we overcome that social bullshit.
Why I’m voting for Barack Obama again in 2012, in the words of Susan B. Anthony:
No self respecting woman should wish or work for the success of a party that ignores her sex.
Lovely. That post has gotten popular enough that the people who have nothing better to say than varying shades of “lol fatty, lol ur groce” have come out to play.
These things are really important contributions to the conversation, guys. For real.