Your definition of feminist and mine appear to be completely different. I do not believe that women are “better” than men, nor am I capable of respecting anyone who does. I believe that men have much more trouble understanding systems of oppression than women — especially if they are white, straight, cisgender, heterosexual, and not poor — but this does not make them worse. It makes them the product of a society that privileges their experiences above all others, and encourages them not to question those experiences and to deride any that suggest their experiences hurt others. It is very, very hard to break out of that cycle, and recognizing privilege often leads to some very uncomfortable and guilty feelings. On an individual level, if you believe certain things of yourself, suddenly being asked to understand that what you’re doing hurts other people (especially when you don’t believe you hurt anyone through your beliefs or actions) can be jarring and can be painful, and many men simply won’t do it. And why not? Western society tells them they don’t have to.
It doesn’t make them bad people. It doesn’t make the entire gender “worse” than women. It makes for some frustrating conversations, some hurtful actions, and some seriously douchebaggy people. But to suggest that these douchebaggy people (of any gender presentation, actually) are representative of whether or not the entire subset is objectively “good” or “bad” is just plain moronic.
In my opinion, both studies are bogus and make sweeping generalizations about cisgender people without taking into account the very real effects that privilege and oppression have on nurturing skills. Women are more compassionate and have greater communication skills? Well, maybe, but in my opinion they gain those skills through an understanding that under a patriarchal system, they are only really allowed to communicate in certain ways — and moreover, men are not allowed to show their emotions, and repression has its own huge repercussions on the ability to be compassionate or to communicate effectively.
Men have greater abstract reasoning or spatial awareness? It could be that’s true, especially since men are encouraged to take up as much space as possible with their body (seriously - next time you’re in a mixed-gender room, take a look at how each individual sits or stands or talks, especially if that mixed-gender room is full of people who don’t know each other well). Men are also encouraged at math and science, and women are not.
To suggest that these scientific studies are the be-all and end-all of gender difference and proves once and for all that men are “better” at some things and women are “better” than others is pretty narrow-minded, if you ask me, and does not take into account the many (and often strong) social pressures that can lead to these results.