The biggest thing you can do is to call out other men when they say or do sexist or misogynistic things. I cannot stress the importance of this enough. You’re not really an ally if you can’t stand up to other people.
But you know? It sounds like you’re doing a lot, and I appreciate so much your coming to me with your questions. That’s important, too — asking someone whose lived experiences make them best able to answer the question. And I have a little bit of a secret for you: it never really feels like enough. But everything you do to help other people is good, and you’re clearly doing a lot of good. Don’t be too hard on yourself for “not doing enough.”
I wish you weren’t anon. You sound like the kind of person I’d like to know. x