29 posts tagged Resources
[tw: sexual assault, rape]
29 posts tagged Resources
- Examine the feeling of not being good enough and the reasons you struggle to love yourself and replace them with a sense of wonder and ease.
- Create a long list of all the things you do well and read it to yourself often.
- Say only nice things about your body and the amazing things it enables you to experience in your life.
- Lift your head up as you walk – and SMILE as you go!
- Listen to music with a positive message of life and love (try Blessed by Brett Dennen)
- Hire a photographer to take amazing photos of yourself to see your beauty as others see it.
- Make a list of all the things you’re grateful for about Who You Are.
- Every night before bed tell yourself and your body how much you appreciate it.
- Stand naked in front of the mirror and make peace with the physical body that houses Who You Really Are.
- List 7 reasons why your hardest challenges or worst mistakes or most unloved qualities have been a beautiful thing for you.
- Then ask yourself for forgiveness for not seeing it all earlier.
- Tell others what you love about you.
- STOP doing exercise that doesn’t make you smile or laugh! Go roller skating or dancing or trampolining instead!
- Chew your food slowly, savor each flavor and focus on the nourishment you’re offering yourself.
- Take everything out of your closet and only put back in the things that make you FEEL amazing when you wear them!
- Allow yourself time to “do nothing”.
- Give yourself time to understand that all these ways to love yourself need to be done with passion and authentic intention, and not just something you tick off a list.
- Stop making excuses for what you love and just LOVE IT OUT LOUD dammit!
- If you’re not feeling “good” when someone asks how you are, give yourself permission to be authentic and tell the truth (and maybe ask for some support).
- Spend lots of time in meditation or prayer or stillness.
- Light candles, put on sexy music and make love to your own body.
- Eat when you’re hungry. Rest when you’re tired. Tell the world your needs matter by making them a priority over the dishes or the laundry.
- Surround yourself with tribes of amazing women who will remind you of Who You Are when you forget about the ways to love yourself.
- Throw your head back and laugh out loud!
- Two words: Body. Paint. (Bonus points if you share the photos.)
- You know that one thing that looks so cool but you’ve been rattling off excuses why you can’t try it? Go do it.
- Join a daily or weekly self-portrait challenge and see yourself in a new light.
- Understand how it is you learned to not love yourself so you can break the habit for good.
- Give yourself permission to sob when your heart is hurting.
- Write down 5 ways to love yourself each morning before you even start your day.
- Celebrate your scars and stretch marks.
- Commit to only using positive words to describe yourself…instead of “I don’t know how” say “I’ve yet to learn that”. “I screwed that up” becomes “I learned some really good things here.” I’m serious, try it.
- Replace “have to” with “get to” and begin to see that life is always an opportunity for you to show off your prowess.
- Find the one hairstyle that allows your inner self to glow and rock it – no matter how wild it is!
- Create a list of people you deeply admire and why. Then remember that you can only admire in others what your heart calls it’s own Truth. Stand in that Truth and be what you admire.
- Stop calling yourself “lazy” or “stupid” and replace it with a compassionate description of Who You Are
- Buy or gather your favorite flowers, and write yourself a love note to go with it.
- Make yourself a yummy meal or take yourself out to dinner to eat in the peaceful company of YOU.
- Choose to be in a relationship with your life and experiences.
- Give love to others, not because of who they are, but because of Who You Are.
- Schedule your own spa day and pamper yourself. Include the kids! Or the partner! Or your best girlfriends!
- Learn to listen to and trust your intuition.
- Practice Nonviolent Communication with yourself.
- Go get a chair massage at the mall.
- Let your toes loose and go outside (or even to the store) barefoot and free.
- Replace one food that makes you feel bad with one yummy food that makes you feel great.
- Give yourself permission to say no to the things that make you unhappy and yes to the things you’d rather do instead.
- Share a photo of your imperfect booty with the world.
- Make one small space in your home a reflection of Who You Are – ditch what you don’t love or use often, paint the walls, bring in a comfy place to sit, light your candles, pile up your journal, books and art supplies, listen to inspiring music and dwell there often.
- Write yourself a love letter. And frame that bad boy. Look at it anytime you need to remember how beautiful you are.
[tw: sexual assault, rape]
I’ve gotten some questions about this after that most recent concern troll. You’ve got some options.
Sometimes you’re going to need to wake up one of your best friends at 1am and sob on her (not that this has happened to me recently or anything, except it totally has). That’s okay too. Activist exhaustion is a real thing, and sometimes you just gotta cry about it. Your community’s got your back.
You know what? The “heavy work” of history was done by slaves of all genders. And by “heavy work” I’m not only talking about lifting rocks or whatever the hell this dude is thinking, but keeping everything clean, doing all the cooking, and giving birth.
My opinion on that is that it’s total bullshit and is the reason usually given by people who know they’re not in the right but are too stubborn to admit that feminism is necessary and important.
The idea that women are generally not as strong as men is a huge generalization that is wildly subjective — like, what does he mean by strength, anyway? The strength required to swim 50 laps versus the strength required to lift 200 pounds are so different, and women are just as capable as men of doing either of those kinds of work.
It’s also a logical fallacy to point out that women’s rights are fucked up, but men “do harder work.” The two have nothing to do with one another. Rights are rights regardless of how hard you’re working or how much physical strength is required to do that work. Ask him if he thinks a man who works in construction is more entitled to his rights than a man who works as an accountant.
Rebloggable by request with an excellent addition from thezombiesaid:
not to mention that women have ALREADY proven in recent history that they can do hard work; did women not take over mens manual labor when the men went off to fight in the World Wars? such a ridic argument.
I believe you.
These people will, too, if you need someone to talk to. I’ve used them before. It helps — feels like starting to heal.
The first thing you really need to understand is that the definition of racism that you probably have (which is the colloquial definition: “racism is prejudice against someone based on their skin color or ethnicity”) is NOT the definition that’s commonly used in anti-racist circles.
The definition used in anti-racist circles is the accepted sociological definition (which is commonly used in academic research, and has been used for more than a decade now): “racism is prejudice plus power”. What this means, in easy language:
A. Anyone can hold “racial prejudice” — that is, they can carry positive or negative stereotypes of others based on racial characteristics. For example, a white person thinking all Asians are smart, or all black people are criminals; or a Chinese person thinking Japanese people are untrustworthy; or what-have-you. ANYONE, of any race, can have racial prejudices.
B. People of any race can commit acts of violence, mistreatment, ostracizing, etc., based on their racial prejudices. A black kid can beat up a white kid because he doesn’t like white kids. An Indian person can refuse to associate with Asians. Whatever, you get the idea.
C. However, to be racist (rather than simply prejudiced) requires havinginstitutional power. In North America, white people have the institutional power. In large part we head the corporations; we make up the largest proportion of lawmakers and judges; we have the money; we make the decisions. In short, we control the systems that matter. “White” is presented as normal, the default. Because we have institutional power, when we think differently about people based on their race or act on our racial prejudices, we are being racist. Only white people can be racist, because only white people have institutional power.
D. People of color can be prejudiced, but they cannot be racist, because they don’t have the institutional power. (However, some people refer to intra-PoC prejudice as “lateral racism”. You may also hear the term “colorism”, which refers to lighter-skinned PoC being prejudiced toward darker-skinned PoC.) However, that situation can be different in other countries; for example, a Japanese person in Japan can be racist against others, because the Japanese have the institutional power there. But in North America, Japanese peoplecan’t be racist because they don’t hold the institutional power.
E. If you’re in an area of your city/state/province that is predominantly populated by PoC and, as a white person, you get harassed because of your skin color, it’s still not racism, even though you’re in a PoC-dominated area. The fact is, even though they’re the majority population in that area, they still lack the institutional power. They don’t have their own special PoC-dominated police force for that area. They don’t have their own special PoC-dominated courts in that area. The state/province and national media are still not dominated by PoC. Even though they have a large population in that particular area, they still lack the institutional power overall.
F. So that’s the definition of racism that you’re likely to encounter. If you start talking about “reverse racism” you’re going to either get insulted or laughed at, because it isn’t possible under that definition; PoC don’t have the power in North America, so by definition, they can’t be racist. Crying “reverse racism!” is like waving a Clueless White Person Badge around.
- Audre Lorde’s The Master’s Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master’s House
- Audre Lorde’s Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power
- Aurora Levins Morales’s Radical Pleasure: Sex and the End of Victimhood
- bell hooks’ Cultural Criticism & Transformation
- Chandra Talpade Mohanty’s Under Western Eyes: Feminist Scholarship and Colonial Discourses
- Combahee River Collective Statement
- Dorothy Allison’s A Question of Class
- Judith Butler documentary
- Leslie Feinberg’s We Are All Works in Progress
- Paula Gunn Allen’s Who is Your Mother?: Red Roots of White Feminism
- R.W. Connell’s The Social Organization of Masculinity
- Sandra Lee Bartky’s Foucault, Femininity, and the Modernization of Patriarchal Power
- Sandra Cisneros’s Guadalupe the Sex Goddess
- Sojourner Truth’s Ain’t I a Woman?
- Susan Bordo’s The Body and the Reproduction of Femininity
I was looking around for something that gives strategies that men can do to prevent rape and rape culture. Outside of Jackson Katz’s “10 Things Men Can Do To Stop Rape,” I didn’t find anything that was more recent. I put this list together as a handout for the male-identified training. I didn’t want to reinvent the wheel with this, but I feel there isn’t anything that is just a quick list of how to interrupt rape culture. Comments, questions, criticisms encouraged.
Male Ally Tips – Things You Can Do Every Day!
Being an ally isn’t just about attending trainings and volunteering with RVA – it’s mostly about the way we carry ourselves on a day-to-day basis. With that in mind, here are some things to be mindful of…
- Watch how much space you take up. Often when we are sitting on the train or bus, men tend to take up more space than women. In some cases, it may be because we are physically bigger than women, but in others it is an unearned (and unnoticed) sense of entitlement. When you ride the train, compare and contrast how much space men take up versus women. Remember that your size can be intimidating.
- Learn to step back… From an early age, boys are encouraged to voice our opinions and to speak when we feel something needs to be said. However, that can lead us to dominate a conversation or meeting. Instead, practice not talking. Let others, particularly female-identified people, speak first. If they have said something you thought about saying, you don’t need to echo it.
- …and to step up! Use your voice for good – when you hear other men telling a sexist joke, or statements that support rape myths, or words that belittle survivors of domestic and sexual violence, interject! You’ll be surprised at how effective (and appreciated!) a statement such as “I really don’t think that (joke/comment/remark) is funny” really is.
- Attend feminist events. If male-identified people are welcomed at the space, show your support by attending talks by feminist authors, film screenings by female filmmakers, and concerts with feminist performers.
- Support feminist media. Go one step further – if we want to put a stop to rape culture, we need to work on dismantling it. Supporting alternatives to mainstream, corporate-owned media is imperative. Get a subscription to Bitchmagazine, buy albums of feminist performers and buy tickets to movies that feature strong female leads and/or positive depictions of gender non-conforming folks. As the old saying goes, “money talks”- if companies see these movies doing well they are more likely to continue making them!
- Volunteer! If you have the time, volunteer for a rape crisis or domestic violence center. Men NEED to be doing this work. Most of the time violence is perpetrated, a man is the perpetrator. This is not being anti-male, it’s just being honest. Call your local rape crisis or domestic violence center and find out how you can help. You may not be able to work directly with survivors, but you can do prevention work – which involves talking to other men – and that is equally important.
- Make your space feminist. We don’t want to take up more space than necessary, but rather, to make the space we do take up feminist. If you work in an office, push for a sexual assault 101 training. Hang up posters in your cubicle that are supportive of gender-equality. If you’re a member of a fraternity, do a service project that benefits a local rape crisis or DV center. It’s possible to do this in any space – not just the social work field!
- Be an active bystander. Obviously if we see a sexual assault taking place we should intervene, as anyone would do. However, sexual violence exists on a continuum. Verbal street harassment and groping are also forms of sexual violence, though they are commonly accepted. If you see a man talking to a woman on the train, ask the woman if the man is bothering her. When you see a man taking upskirt pictures on his iPhone, tell him that is not only illegal but wrong. If a man grabs a woman, tell him, in your own words, to leave her alone. Most of these behaviors continue because the men who perpetrate the actions feel justified since they have never had another man call them out on it. Equally important, we want to think of our own safety – intervene if you feel comfortable, but we’re not superheroes, nor do we want to feel that just because we are men we need to be “strong” enough to fix everything. Taking your own safety account is imperative!
- Reflect the type of masculinity you want to see in the world. If we want to break the association of masculinity and violence, we need to portray the type of masculinity we want to see. This means allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, being nurturing and supportive of children, taking responsibility for our actions, and apologizing when we’ve hurt someone’s feelings. It also means supporting men who are “outside the gender box,” as well as supporting women and gender non-conforming folks. If we continue to harbor the negative qualities of masculinity, we can’t effectively change it.
- Be accountable. Finally, recognize the ways that you are being oppressive. Always keep yourself in check. Being an ally means being accountable to feminists and to female-identified and gender non-conforming people. Though we may have the best of intentions, it is common to make mistakes. That’s how privilege works, after all – we will always be unlearning sexism. Being an ally is a lifelong process, and you’ve started on the road to making the world a safer place for women and girls (as well as boys and men!). That should be commended. However, we do not deserve praise for doing the work we should be doing; for taking responsibility. Make sure you are self-critical, self-aware, and knowledgeable about your words and actions.
I got a question about this last week- passing it on!
This is actually a really good list.
Thats what I don’t get about “fat-acceptance.”
Like, you can be accepted all you want but what’s that gonna do to change your health problems?
Even if being fat becomes en vogue and suddenly obesity is sexy, you’re still gonna die much younger than I will.
Is that worth fighting for?
I’d rather fight for my health than the approval of others, and that’s why I don’t understand the idea of “fat acceptance.”
1. You have no idea when I’m going to die
2. I’d take 30 years of being happy, comfortable, self-loving, and not a complete asshole over eternal life as a dick like you
Fat acceptance is not JUST about fighting for the acceptance of douchebags (like you). It’s about fighting for the acceptance of OURSELVES. It’s fighting against lifetimes of self-hatred and mental illness, distorted perception, and the right to respect ourselves… if if we are unhealthy. Even if we are “ugly.” Even if we do die at 30 of diseased hearts (oh wait… that isn’t actually happening)….
Add to that, studies show more and more that fat people actually live longer. For the OP, here is a big long list of stuff that disproves the crap you’re spewing:
This is Redefining Body Image’s go-to list of resources, articles, research, videos, etc. providing facts and information regarding health and body image, especially dedicated to debunking the everyone’s favorite myth that fat = unhealthy.
Let the facts come marching in.
- Big Fat Facts: The truth about fat, obesity, gastric bypass, and weight loss. Focuses on many aspects of fat health that are widely accepted but never challenged, targets the claims, points out the faults, and highlights the truth.
- Articles and Evidence by the Fat Nutritionist that go into some of the controversies around dieting, weight, and eating.
- A massive list of resources discussing the truth behind fat health can be found over at Big Liberty Blog, titled Truth Behind Fat: References.
- One of my staple resources, Kate Harding answers the ever popular question directed at fat activists: “But Don’t You Realize Fat Is Unhealthy?”
- Some more from the lovely Kate Harding: “Reality vs. Relativism“ and ”Diets Don’t Work”.
- A scientific study helping to prove how diets really work by, Junkfood Science - How We’ve Come to Believe that Overeating Causes Obesity
- More of Me to Love discusses fat health, fitness, and health at every size.
- Everyone Knows Obesity Is Hurting Us, But Is the Fight Against Obesity the Problem? - Linda Bacon, Ph.D.
- The Health At Every Size® Manifesto.
- Heart Surgeon Speaks Out Against What Really Causes Heart Disease - A very interesting and informative piece that details new studies on heart disease.
- Weight Science: Evaluating the Evidence for a Paradigm Shift
- Medicare’s search for effective obesity treatments: diets are not the answer.
- The TRUE Cost of Fatties - Looking closely at how obesity impacts gas costs and health care, which is to say not at all.
- More on Obesity and Healthcare Costs here.
- Stereotype Management Skills by Deb Burgard, PhD. discusses how to refute fat shaming propaganda, among other helpful things.
- Uncommon Knowledge About Changes in Body Weight by Lily O’Hara
- Things Obesity is Not by Ragen Chastain
- ‘Everyone knows’ obesity kills, but is weight loss the answer? by Lydia Turner
- Above-Normal Weight Alone Does Not Necessarily Increase Short-Term Risk of Death, U.S. Data Suggest - Science Daily, July 2012
- Among diabetes patients, the obese outlive the trim - a study that cracks fat health stereotypes about type 2 diabetes
- ‘Fitness and Fatness’: Not All Obese People Have the Same Prognosis; Second Study Sheds Light On ‘Obesity Paradox’ - People can be obese but metabolically healthy and fit, with no greater risk of developing or dying from cardiovascular disease or cancer than normal weight people, according to the largest study ever to have investigated this seeming paradox.
- This TED talk by Julie Rochefort called “Shift the Focus” discusses and displays a lot of really important data based around the fact that health is possible at EVERY size. A short 8 minute video that covers a lot of ground in a short amount of time.
- This extensive article by Glenn Gaesser, Ph.D. called Obesity, Health, and Metabolic Fitness debunks a number of myths regarding fat health. Many important topics are covered, from “thinner is not necessarily healthier” to “emphasis on weight loss” being “misdirected and hazardous”, to challenging the link between obesity and heart disease. A very comprehensive and informative resource.
- Fear Mongering for the Nation by Fat Body Politics - A critical look at the HBO documentary Weight of the Nation.
Fat Acceptance/Size Discrimination Related Resources (WIP)
- Ever wanted to learn more about Fat Acceptance? Check out the Fat Acceptance FAQ over at Spilt Milk, complete with a list of links to some great health-related info.
- 5 Fat Acceptance Myths Debunked - Debunking myths such as “Fat acceptance demands complete confidence and self-love at all times.”
- NAAFA Official Website
- The Association for Size Diversity and Health // Research Articles
Body Positivity Resources (WIP)
- Body Positivity 101 by The Ellipses Project
Here is a brief guide to some of the important things you never learned about in sex ed.
- Debunking myths about anatomy
- Brief overview of sexuality and gender (More complex version here)
- Slut-shaming and consent
- Various types of birth control (with at least 95% effectiveness)
- Sex toys
Ebook for sharing is [HERE] (I’m sorry I just really love making ebooks…)
this is brilliant