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So I’ve been laughing at that Friendzone meme for a long time, but then I started to notice that a lot of feminists claim that there is no such thing as “friendzone”. Being aware that people tend to treat their opposite-sex friends awkwardly and there might be some truth in the meme, I got confused. Could you please explain what’s the fallacy behind guys thinking that they got ‘friendzoned’? — ozziescribbler

So basically, the “friendzone” is a super problematic term because it USUALLY refers to a situation in which a dude thinks a woman is obligated to like him romantically just because he’s nice to her/he likes her romantically. Not always, but a solid 90% of the time I would say this is the case.

So, why is this problematic? Well, this sense of obligation is a serious component of rape culture. I dunno if you know this term, but rape culture is a culture that insists victims are to blame for their assaults because they were not vigilant enough about what they were doing, what they were wearing, how intoxicated they were, etc. It makes rape excusable because the victim was “asking for it,” instead of blaming the rapist for their crime. The idea that a woman owes a man (and I use these terms because GENERALLY it’s cis men using the term against cis women, but again, not always!) anything because he’s nice to her is ludicrous, takes away her autonomy over her own body and her own relationships. It’s an integral part of Nice Guy Syndrome, too.

There are some really good articles on the issue:

http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Nice_guy_syndrome

http://icedteaandlemoncake.wordpress.com/2011/04/04/feminsim-101-nice-guy-syndrome/

Hopefully that helped!

Now rebloggable by request.

sjbdoing:

moniquill:

lavender-labia:

“Good morning New York. I’m sorry to bother you. I’m not hungry. I do not want food or money, I just need a little support. I got dumped last week and I’m trying to give her space but I can’t do nothing. If you have any words of advice for me, a quote that resonates with you or a story about second chances, please raise your hand and I’ll come to you. I have sharpie markers and I’ll stay as long as it takes.”

cuddlingisoptional:

I normally do not reblog this kind of shit, but for any dude that has ever been dumped, still in love and desperately tried to win her heart back, no matter the circumstance…this is legit shit. And do not give me that bullshit “dude, if she dumped you she obviously doesnt want to be with you, just get over it, you pathetic asshole”…First of all, fuck you. Second of all, fuck you.

Your comments are the epitome of rape culture and everything that is wrong with concept of friend-zoning. Fuck you. Like actually fuck you, you entitled piece of shit. Women owe you NOTHING. Women do know what they want, and if they dump you it IS because they don’t want to be with you. Stop perpetuating the sexist assumption that women don’t know their own mind. No means no, and any other interpretation is rape culture at work. You and your commentary can actually fuck off.

As for the OP: I’m speechless. “I’m trying to give her space, but I’m walking around with her face on a sandwich board and I’m convincing everyone that she’s the horrible person here and I’m so unfairly victimised.” Cool story, bro. Tell me more about how you’re irresistible and why everyone should want to be with you.

This is the reddest of flags.

Dear girl on billboard: Change the locks, change your number, and stay safe.

Hoooly shit this is disgusting.

This kind of thing is not remotely romantic. It is creepy and invasive and threatening fucking behavior.

(via )