big fat feminist

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I’ve noticed a bunch of thinspo and fitspo blogs have started following me.

This is not a hate post! New followers won’t know this, but old followers will: I had an ED. Still do! It’s not the kind of thing that vanishes without a trace, but they do become manageable and you can get beyond them. 

I understand blogging about triumph and pain, and when I was deep into my ED, every day felt like the most intoxicating combination of the two. I wasn’t happy — not with myself and not with my habits — but I felt accomplished, in a strange way. So I get it. I really, really understand and empathize.

However, I won’t promote it. I am all for living healthily if that’s your goal, I am all for moving your body joyfully and eating the things that make you feel good and working toward loving yourself and your body more. But I firmly believe you can do all of those things at whatever weight you are right now, or whatever weight you were before. (If you’re unfamiliar with it, I recommend reading up on the Health At Every Size organization).

I’m not asking you to unfollow me. I ask only one thing (and I am asking, not demanding, because ultimately I have no control over whether or not you do this): Please don’t use my body as justification. Don’t use me as a worst case scenario. Basically, don’t use me as thinspiration. I’m a person who’s walked the same path some of you have, and I have so much empathy for you. Please allow me the dignity of being treated as a person with her own experiences and her own journey, not an object or a lesson or an example.

I try to keep this blog full of empowering and positive messages of self-love, compassion, and support. If you’re into that, please stick around; I’d love to have you.

Love and solidarity,
Kaye

[TW: Rape threats, fat hatred] People are REAL MAD about not being assholes to nine-year-olds.

Apparently, suggesting one doesn’t use body-negative language in the hopes of avoiding giving a bunch of adolescent girls a body image complex is enough to inspire half a dozen messages (and like fifty reblogs with pretty terrible commentary) from people who are convinced that

  1. unless we tell these girls they shouldn’t be fat as often as we can, they’ll NEVER LEARN!! that they shouldn’t be fat
  2. I, as a person who doesn’t necessarily think inspiring body image complexes in adolescent girls is an admirable goal, am a “fat cunt”
  3. I probably have diabetes/probably hate myself/should definitely hate myself/am a virgin/hate men/will definitely die alone unless I get raped first (one message actually says that — I’m not clear on how my dying alone will be affected by my being raped; like, is my rapist then supposed to claim me as his wife? but all right)

I won’t be publishing any of these or any subsequent troll messages, but I feel it’s important that anyone who would like to leave one be reminded that

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Hey followers!

If you reblog something I write, that is awesome and I would like to encourage you to keep doing that, but please don’t edit it down or excise huge portions of it. That’s pretty rude. I suggest utilizing the “bold” function or creating a quote post that links back to the post instead. This is true of any blogs, not just mine. #blogginetiquette

Thanks :)

Xoxo gossip Kaye

Hey all! 

Just wanted to address the buildup of questions in my inbox; I’ve been super busy with the holidays and with work in the New Year, but will be more active starting in the coming week. Don’t worry, I’m not ignoring y’all!

Hugs,

Kaye

khaleesicle:

dear everybody,

I am leaving for California tomorrow and not taking my computer with me (!). I am taking my ipad, but will be a bit absent from Tumblr for the week.

leave me nice messages to return to xoxo

love!

reblogging my personal blog for simplicity :) I’ll try to queue a bit for you, but may not have time. sorry!

I am safely out of harm’s way; my town still doesn’t have power, but my housemates and I have all relocated to our families, so we’re all right. The only damage to our house was some ripped-off siding, pretty minimal, and our beautiful oak tree came down in back — but not onto our house or anyone else’s, so we’re lucky and thankful.

Hope everyone else came through all right, too!

x Kaye

Hey all,

Posting may be sporadic/nonexistent for the next couple of days - I’m in central NJ and Hurricane Sandy is supposed to hit us pretty hard.

Please stay safe, guys!

Love,
Kaye