29 posts tagged sex
basically, imo, a better question than how do we fix porn so youth dont take bad examples from it is
how do we fix and include sex ed so youth dont have to use porn as their only window and guide to sexuality. so they grow up and make more conscious porn too, if they choose to go that route.
for real.
900 kinds of fact.
(via gtfothinspo)
“What students need isn’t a lecture on abstinence. They need a community that sees sex as about mutual pleasure and intimacy, not point scoring or getting something, and that doesn’t shame or problematize female sexuality. Heterosexual women need male partners who are respectful, generous in bed and emotionally competent, and who treat women like people regardless of whether those women are girlfriends, one-night stands or friends with benefits. Sex, be it in a committed relationship or a more casual arrangement, doesn’t have to be the fraught power play or unpleasant interaction merely tolerated by young women. Sex is sex. Human beings throughout all of history have enjoyed it for very good reason. Consensual, mutually pleasurable sex is, for many people, at the top of their “favorite things” list.”
(via sparkamovement)
ADVICE VLOG #1: THE PERSON YOU’RE FUCKING SHOULD WANT TO SEE YOU NAKED.
NSFW: I say “fuck” a lot and talk about nudity.
I had an anonymous question today that so distressed me that I needed to answer it WITH MY ACTUAL FACE.
Note: I got a follow-up question from this same anon (indicating they were the same anon) telling me they were indeed a lady datin’ a dude, which I forgot to mention while recording this video — otherwise I’d totally be a heteronormative jerk, and ain’t nobody got time for that.
Asked by
Anonymous
Be kind to yourself. Your partner wants to be there with you — they aren’t under some illusion that your body is something it’s not. Take deep breaths. Think about the things your body does for you that you appreciate, and the parts of you that you are fond of. Be unapologetic about loving those parts of you. Ask for reassurance — we all need reassurance sometimes, and it’s okay to get it from your partner. Let yourself feel good without being ashamed of it, because you deserve to feel good as much as anyone else does. Forgive your body, and forgive yourself for when you’ve been cruel to it.
Read this. Read this. Read this. Read this. Read this. Reread any of the ones that resonate with you as many times as you need to. Find other things that resonate. Reread all of them, any time you need to.
Remember this: You are deserving of love. Remember this: Becoming comfortable in your own skin is a process and a journey, and how it will happen and how long it will take is entirely up to you. You get to choose this path.
Also?
Have as many goddamn orgasms as you can.
I cannot think of a show in recent memory that has garnered as much press and critical conversation as Girls. I find it a little baffling because other shows excite me more, but whatever. If this is what we’re going to talk about, this is what we’re going to talk about.
My issues with Girls are well documented so I am not going to belabor those points. The show has good things going for it too. One of those good things is that we get to see a reasonably attractive (but not conventionally Hollywood attractive) woman, Dunham, with a normal body—curves, gentle sagging, humanity.
Of course, people are going to comment because Hollywood and the fashion industry and other forces have so radically skewed our perception of what a normal body looks like but her body is defiantly exposed to us, every week.
I was idly reading this recap of girls by some men at Slate when I stumbled on curious statements!
Daniel Engber asks, “Why are these people having sex, when they are so clearly mismatched—in style, in looks, in manners, in age, in everything? Why is he kissing her and begging her to stay over? Seriously, Dave—why?”
Later, he says, “I felt trapped by my unwillingness to buy into the central premise. Narcissistic, childish men sleep with beautiful women all the time in movies and on TV, so why should this coupling be so difficult to fathom? I think it’s because Hannah is especially and assertively ugly in this episode. She’s rude (“what did you do?” she asks Joshua, referring to his broken marriage), self-centered (“I’m too smart and too sensitive”), sexually ungenerous (“no, make me come”), and defiantly ungraceful (naked ping-pong).”
The moral here is that lesser attractive women, by this unspoken rubric of attractiveness, need to be polite, sexually generous, graceful, and selfless to deserve the penis and attention of a conventionally attractive man.
MIND THESE RULES, LADIES! There are leagues in fucking. Don’t fuck out of your league if you aren’t prepared to be perfect in every other way.
Now, these guys are just being honest and expressing their opinions, it’s all good, but I found the exchange fascinating and sad. I appreciate that they recognize how the rules are vastly different for less than conventionally attractive men. It’s a shame they cannot accept that there are any number of reasons people are attracted to one another that defy the nonsense Hollywood tries to shove down our throats.
Despite my many issues with Girls, I am at least grateful that Dunham is bringing so many people’s bullshit out, so it can stink in the wide open.
This is a great article, and I want to draw attention to this paragraph in particular:
The fact is, this is a personal decision for a woman. If she wants your input, she’ll ask. If going down on someone who looks like an adult woman is a deal breaker for you, then it’s a deal breaker. Women can wear their hair like they just don’t care, and that includes everything up to stringing it with beads and braiding it. If this man’s girlfriend is sporting the natural look, it’s probably by choice. In a society that tells us that bald like a baby is the sexxxiest, it’s not something that a lot of ladies take lightly.
I would just like to say that if you are ever in the blessed position of going down on me and you COMPLAIN about my pubic hair, we will have a problem (and you will not be invited for any Southern eating again).
Communication during sex is the best thing ever, okay? It’s guaranteed to make you a happier person with more orgasms. And I dunno about you, but I am sometimes haunted by visions of amateur porn where one person is going down on the other and keeps having to stop to pull pubes out of their teeth. However, there is a difference between pointing out to your partner that you feel sort of like you’re simultaneously flossing and fellating and that’s a bummer and telling them that their pubic hair grosses you out because you’re not used to women having pubic hair and OMG, WHAT?
Hello lovelies. I’m hoping some of you out there could help me. A friend of mine is having a hard time finding good info and tips online for advice on how to have sex as a bigger dude. I’ve tried googling a few times too, and I can’t find anything helpful.
If you’ve got the knowledge, drop me a line! Looking to talk about:
- Sexual positions
- Advice on having sex as a taller fat person with a petite/slim partner
- General tips
- Anything related!
I appreciate any help I get to pass on! May good sex be with you.
“
God we fuck up teenagers’ heads. We tell them that biological conditions are moral punishments and then we get all shocked when they don’t practice rational risk management of biological conditions. We teach them “sex is super desirable and all the cool kids do it, and it’s hideously shameful and will destroy your life” and we wonder why they act an eensy bit neurotic about it. If you tried to design a system for making sexually active kids confused and unsafe, you couldn’t do much better than the American media and school system.
And for once, the answer is relatively simple. Just talk about sex like it’s a part of life. Some people have sex and some people don’t, because people are different. STIs aren’t bad because they’re Dirty Crotch Rot; they’re bad because they’re contagious illnesses like strep throat or whooping cough, and you can ask a doctor to check for and treat them just like you would with strep throat. Unwanted pregnancy isn’t a scarlet A; it’s a mostly-preventable accident that sometimes occurs when people are going about their normal business of having sex. You can ask the school counselor about a variety of topics, including career planning, problems at home, questions about sex, or conflicts with teachers.
If we could just get the goddamn stick out of our collective ass and accept that sex is a human activity and teenagers are humans, maybe there wouldn’t be quite so many plaintive “I don’t understand my body and I’m confused and scared and I don’t know anyone I can ask in person” messages flying out into the world.
”The Pervocracy - “Teenage Panic.”
(via fuckyeahsexpositivity)
(via shorm)
Here is a brief guide to some of the important things you never learned about in sex ed.
- Debunking myths about anatomy
- Brief overview of sexuality and gender (More complex version here)
- Slut-shaming and consent
- Various types of birth control (with at least 95% effectiveness)
- Masturbation
- Lube
- Sex toys
Ebook for sharing is [HERE] (I’m sorry I just really love making ebooks…)
this is brilliant
“I hate how the phrase ‘have some self respect’ is used to shame women who are comfortable with their sex lives. ‘Have some self respect’? I do respect myself, that’s why I wanna have a fucking orgasm tonight, thank you very much.”
(via msjosephinemarch)
