big fat feminist

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thepeoplesrecord:

http://www.mamasday.org/

Strong Families is a home for the 4 out of 5 people living in the US who do not live behind the picket fence—whose lives fall outside outdated notions of family, with a mom at home and a dad at work. While that life has never been the reality for most of our families, too many of the policies that affect us are based on this fantasy.  From a lack of affordable childcare and afterschool programs, to immigration policy and marriage equality, the way we make policy and allocate resources needs to catch up to the way we live.

We see the trend of families defining themselves beyond the picket fence—across generation, race, gender, immigration status, and sexuality—as a powerful and promising development for the US, and we want to help policy makers catch up.

Our vision is that every family have the rights, recognition and resources it needs to thrive.  We are engaging hundreds of organizations and thousands of individuals in our work to get there.

(via redefiningbodyimage)

“What students need isn’t a lecture on abstinence. They need a community that sees sex as about mutual pleasure and intimacy, not point scoring or getting something, and that doesn’t shame or problematize female sexuality. Heterosexual women need male partners who are respectful, generous in bed and emotionally competent, and who treat women like people regardless of whether those women are girlfriends, one-night stands or friends with benefits. Sex, be it in a committed relationship or a more casual arrangement, doesn’t have to be the fraught power play or unpleasant interaction merely tolerated by young women. Sex is sex. Human beings throughout all of history have enjoyed it for very good reason. Consensual, mutually pleasurable sex is, for many people, at the top of their “favorite things” list.”

In defence of hooking up – in university and beyond | Jill Filipovic | Comment is free | guardian.co.uk (via sexisnottheenemy)

(via sparkamovement)

“

Porn is about male fantasy. The fantasy is that women like everything you do to them, as man.

So how does this translate into real life? Women spend a lot of time and energy trying to please men. We learn early on that we are being looked at – that we are to be looked at. That we are performers. It took years before I actually started enjoying sex. YEARS. I think what I enjoyed most about sex, when I was younger, was the feeling of being desired. The actual sex part was super boring for the first while.

We learn, as girls and women, that the performance is more important than the actual feeling.

”

Meghan Murphy, “Facials, feminism, & performance: On f**king men in a patriarchy” (via vomohiper)

(via fatbodypolitics)

vanishingage:

mousinainteasy:

domiiik:

  • gay guys don’t have to be disgusted by vagina
  • lesbians don’t have nightmares after seeing cock
  • gay guys can appreaciate beautiful women
  • lesbians can appreciate handsom men
  • it doesn’t make them less gay

straight guys can appreciate handsome men

straight girls can appreciate beautiful women

it doesn’t make them less straight

  • everyone can appreciate everyone else for aesthetic reasons without it having a damned thing to do with their sexuality or gender
  • no one has a right to touch you in a way you’re uncomfortable with regardless of sexuality

(via shorm)

“Boys are rarely told that their virginity is a gift, or indeed that their sexuality is about “giving” something to another person – lightly or not. Boys “get laid”, “get lucky”, “get some”. They “take a girl’s virginity”, “take advantage”; if they’re thoughtful, they “take their time”. Boys are not taught to think of themselves or their virginity as something to be offered up, unwrapped and enjoyed.”

 Emily Maguire in ‘Like a Virgin’ for The Monthly (via monocled—misanthrope)

basically, young (cis) boys are taught to be predators. young (cis) girls are taught to be prey.

(via deliciouskaek)

Yep, and cis girls who speak of their own pleasure as a priority are immediately demonized for the temerity of seeing their bodies as their own. Meanwhile cis boys are supposed to seek pleasure at every opportunity.

(via karnythia)

(via redefiningbodyimage)

“You don’t have to be young. You don’t have to be thin. You don’t have to be ‘hot’ in any way that some dumbfuckedly narrow mindset that has construed that word. You don’t have to have taut flesh or a tight ass or an eternally upright set of tits.

You have to find a way to inhabit your body while enacting your deepest desires. You have to be brave enough to build the intimacy you deserve. You have to take off all your clothes and say, ‘I’m right here.’”

Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things

Due to a popular white cis feminist sex educator leaving tumblr

fatbodypolitics:

fat-brown-owl:

I have decided to give sex education and sex tips every Tuesday evening. My language will be casual and I use a lot of AAVE, but I will make sure to use scientific terms. The “advice” (more like discussion) will be queer and trans* friendly. I want to make sure that I center WOC and Fat WOC in my discussions, because a lot of issues regarding us gets left out or we’re invisible. I’m curious though, what do you guise want to discuss? I’ll try to be research on things I’m not an expert on (trans* issues and point folks to the proper sources). Anyhow, what do you want to see from this? 

YAY! This sounds awesome!

PSYCHED.

Anonymous asked: hi. i try to be a feminist but i also have uh fat fetish. im a female and pansexual but really i dont know why but i only get turned on by fat. i know that this is wrong cause it makes women objects, for sex and all and i dont know what to do. how to get rid of it or how to deal with it please help me?

Okay, this is a toughie because generally it is a very sensitive subject! And lots of people have a tendency to sex-shame when this gets brought up, and I really, really do not want to do that. I’ve spent a little while since I got this ask mulling it over, and here’s what I’d like to say.

First of all, having a sexual fetish is not wrong. It’s not something an individual can help; what turns you on, turns you own. The problem with fetishes is that they’re labeled such because it’s “abnormal.” That’s problematic thinking right there, and the first thing I think you should do is stop thinking of what turns you on as something to be ashamed of and start thinking of it as part of your sexuality. It is what it is.

Go with me on this: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being exclusively turned on by fat if a) you’re honest about the fact that it’s a fetish for you and b) you don’t actively objectify fat people in the natural process of, you know, living your life. There’s a difference in thinking of someone as an object and thinking of someone as a person, and objectification happens when you strip away the humanity of the person you’re looking at and think of them only as something present for your sexual gratification.

Honesty is key, here. I’d say that’s a good policy for anyone who wants to be intimate with another person. If you’re interested in being sexually intimate with a partner, you should find them sexy! That’s just, you know, good practice! And of course sexual fetishes come into play, there; that’s sort of the point of them. One of the big issues with sexual fetishization of physical characteristics is that those characteristics are attached to people. A fat fetish is in the same vein as a BDSM kink or enjoying water sports or humiliation. The tricky bit comes in that you can’t objectify handcuffs or a crop or something — it’s already an object. But you can objectify a fat person, or a person of color, or a person with really nice hair, or whatever floats your boat (I was totally serious about the hair thing; that’s a real fetish). 

So you know, when you eventually talk about these things (as, in a healthy and happy relationship, you should) be honest. Some people are going to be totally A-OK with it, and it might make others very uncomfortable. Fetishes are, I think, generally for you and your partner(s) to work out, not for anyone else to police. I think that a lot of the ire in the fat acceptance community comes from the fact that many fat fetishists are fucking assholes about it, routinely objectifying fat people (specifically fat women) as stereotyped objects with no humanity, and moreover, react like giant douchebags when they’re called out on it. They are actively fetishizing fat people as objects. I think there’s a difference between that and having a fat fetish.

Those are my thoughts on the matter. I know that my opinion here may not be the popular one, and I’d be totally willing to have a conversation about it.

Now rebloggable by request!

hi. i try to be a feminist but i also have uh fat fetish. im a female and pansexual but really i dont know why but i only get turned on by fat. i know that this is wrong cause it makes women objects, for sex and all and i dont know what to do. how to get rid of it or how to deal with it please help me?

Asked by
Anonymous

Okay, this is a toughie because generally it is a very sensitive subject! And lots of people have a tendency to sex-shame when this gets brought up, and I really, really do not want to do that. I’ve spent a little while since I got this ask mulling it over, and here’s what I’d like to say.

First of all, having a sexual fetish is not wrong. It’s not something an individual can help; what turns you on, turns you own. The problem with fetishization is that it’s labeled such because it’s “abnormal.” That’s problematic thinking right there, and the first thing I think you should do is stop thinking of what turns you on as something to be ashamed of and start thinking of it as part of your sexuality. It is what it is.

Go with me on this: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being exclusively turned on by fat if a) you’re honest about the fact that it’s a fetish for you and b) you don’t actively objectify fat people in the natural process of, you know, living your life. There’s a difference in thinking of someone as an object and thinking of someone as a person, and objectification happens when you strip away the humanity of the person you’re looking at and think of them only as something present for your sexual gratification.

Honesty is key, here. I’d say that’s a good policy for anyone who wants to be intimate with another person. If you’re interested in being sexually intimate with a partner, you should find them sexy! That’s just, you know, good practice! And of course sexual fetishes come into play, there; that’s sort of the point of them. One of the big issues with sexual fetishization of physical characteristics is that those characteristics are attached to people. A fat fetish is in the same vein as a BDSM kink or enjoying water sports or humiliation. The tricky bit comes in that you can’t objectify handcuffs or a crop or something — it’s already an object. But you can objectify a fat person, or a person of color, or a person with really nice hair, or whatever floats your boat (I was totally serious about the hair thing; that’s a real fetish). 

So you know, when you eventually talk about these things as, in a healthy and happy relationship, you should, be honest. Some people are going to be totally A-OK with it, and it might make others very uncomfortable. Fetishes are, I think, generally for you and your partner(s) to work out, not for anyone else to police. I think that a lot of the ire in the fat acceptance community comes from the fact that many fat fetishists are fucking assholes about it, routinely objectifying fat people (specifically fat women) as stereotyped objects with no humanity, and moreover, react like giant douchebags when they’re called out on it. They are actively fetishizing fat people as objects. I think there’s a difference between that and having a fat fetish.

Those are my thoughts on the matter. I know that my opinion here may not be the popular one, and I’d be totally willing to have a conversation about it.